Happiness is a Journey, not a destination.


Monday, December 31, 2007

New Years Eve...

In the last few years, New Years Eve has become more than just a night to party, stay up late, kiss my honey at midnight, etc. When we were younger, and first married, My husband and I always got together with our best "couple friends". We all met around the same time, became couples around the same time, and even though they got married a year before us, since they were a couple years older than us, we were sealed to our spouses within days of each other, and each attended the other's sealing. We were inseparable in those days, and they had even named us as the guardians to their little girl if anything happened to them. The years went by, and our 2 boys came along....Our marriage got stronger, and theirs fell apart. The first year we missed a New Years Eve with them was when I was pregnant with Alec....we made an excuse, and spent it with my family. Even though we didn't consciously realize it, something had changed, and we didn't enjoy being with them as much anymore. We still tried to get together, but it left my husband and I dissatisfied every time. Our best couple friends divorced 3 years ago. It was about that time that I started to look at New Years as more than a "party" night.

The last couple of years, we've spent New Years Eve with our kids, snacking, playing video games, and laughing a lot. However, I also find it a very introspective time....time to let go of the bad things that happened in the year, and to clear my mind and my emotions for the year to come.

Every year for the last 3, I've indulged in this personal spa type ritual. I shut myself in my bathroom, and turn on music that makes me relaxed and contemplative. This year, it was Sarah McLachlan's "Fumbling Toward Ecstasy", but another favorite is Lisa Loeb's "Firecracker". I turn on a long, hot shower in a spotlessly clean bathroom, and I give myself a full body scrub. This isn't just a beauty ritual, however. As I scrub, I recall all the negative thoughts and emotions I've felt during the entire year. I visualize them being scrubbed away from my psyche. I let any disappointments, fears, and hurts come to the surface. Then I visualize letting them go, rinsing them down the drain. I always feel lighter when I come out. I prefer using a salt scrub for this (sometimes I use a store bought scrub, sometimes I make my own by mixing non-iodized salt with my favorite body wash of the moment), because salt is used to absorb negative energy in many forms of alternative healing therapies. Plus, it doesn't interfere with the scent of your body wash like sugar does.

So, I end 2007 by letting go of all the bad things that happened to me this year, by embracing all the happy, wonderful memories of this year, and by playing with my children and husband as if we were all children again.

Oh, and those fireworks you hear at midnight are ours.

Namaste -

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Some thoughts on Motherhood

So, you know you're hooked on blogging, when, instead of sleeping after a night of work, (before having to go back, I might add), I kept waking up and thinking of things I wanted to write in this blog. My brain wouldn't stop working long enough for me to get decent sleep today, so I was grateful to be called off and placed on call at work.

My year could be summed up in 2 words...."Tickled Pink" (thus, the current color of my blog's template). The waiting and then the arrival of my daughter, and the blessing she has been to all of our lives, cannot be measured in mere words. It's so funny...I don't know if it's because I'm older now, because she's my last child, or because she has been such a good, exceptionally easy baby, but I have enjoyed her baby stages more than my other two children. My first son was a very easy baby as well, but I had all the anxieties of a first time mom with him. My second son was difficult until he learned to crawl, and mothering him bewildered me until he got older. Something about my daughter, however....she was smaller than the boys at birth, but she didn't grow quite as fast as they did, which allowed me to enjoy having a little newborn for longer. She put herself on a schedule from the moment she was born, and continued it to this day. She slept in her crib from the first night on, wanted to go to bed for the night between 8 and 8:30 every night, and still does, something the boys never, never did(it took me a couple of months to get them to sleep in their cribs instead of the swing or bouncer). And my daughter looks at me with the "look"....of complete unconditional love, the "that's my mommy" look. My mom said this summer that she could tell I was enjoying Talia more than I had ever enjoyed any of my babies before....and she's right. This was the first time, as going back to work approached, that I thought...I could really not go back, and be ok with it. Of course, I like to spend money too much not to work, so that idea really isn't feasible until I get my budgeting under control. It's a work in progress.

I set my alarm clock a few minutes early today, so that I could see and play with Talia before her nap, before I was supposed to go back to work. It's such an ego boost to see her eyes light up when she sees me and to see her hands raise up to say "pick me up and love me!" Alec, also is always thrilled to see me awake...he's always telling me how pretty I am, and how much he loves me....I love being the most beautiful, wonderful woman in my boy's lives....and I dread the day that I'm not #1 in their lives anymore. I can already see the signs in Kyle....he's at that age where the influences of the outside world start to take their toll. I just hope he stays true to the sweet, caring young man that he is.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

December 29, 2007

Well, I've been inspired by certain blogging friends to get a blog of my own!!! In it you will read our Story....about the lives and times of myself, my Halloween obsessed Husband, and our 3 children. A bit about us....I'm a full time working Mom, both inside and outside the home, and am very lucky to have a husband who believes that parenting is a 50/50 job. I work night shift in the NICU of a local hospital, and I love my job, but not some of the crap that goes along with it. We have a 9 year old son, Kyle, a 5 year old son, Alec, and our baby girl Talia is 9 months on the 1st of January. Our kids are all smart and beautiful (of course, we're biased, but we're right). It's been an interesting year, with the arrival of our princess, sending our younger son off to kindergarten, and all the changes with my church callings and my husband's job. Having 3 months off for maternity leave was a big highlight, and I'm sad I'll never be able to take maternity leave again.

My blogging goals for the year....

Posting at least 5 times a week.
Scrapbooking at least 1 layout a week (taking a page from my good friend Mindy's blog)...and in order to do this I have to organize my scrapbook room and supplies. (It's on my list, first of next week).

My work pet peeve of the day....we do not, I repeat, do not deliver premature babies in a normal labor and delivery room. We need to be in the OR, near our NICU resuscitation room, so that we can have all the necessary supplies at the ready and so that we don't have to traumatize a family while we put a breathing tube in, etc. (it put the poor dad into a pretty good panic attack, poor guy). Hopefully that MD will learn this for the next time.

My happy baby moment of the day....It really amazes me the progress my baby is making. For a baby who has always hated being on her tummy, now that she realizes that she can roll to get to whatever she can't reach or rock to, she is rolling all over the place, and trying to army crawl on her tummy too. It amazes me the motivation that movement brings. After all, she first rolled over months ago, but refused to do it for so long....