Some thoughts on Motherhood

So, you know you're hooked on blogging, when, instead of sleeping after a night of work, (before having to go back, I might add), I kept waking up and thinking of things I wanted to write in this blog. My brain wouldn't stop working long enough for me to get decent sleep today, so I was grateful to be called off and placed on call at work.

My year could be summed up in 2 words...."Tickled Pink" (thus, the current color of my blog's template). The waiting and then the arrival of my daughter, and the blessing she has been to all of our lives, cannot be measured in mere words. It's so funny...I don't know if it's because I'm older now, because she's my last child, or because she has been such a good, exceptionally easy baby, but I have enjoyed her baby stages more than my other two children. My first son was a very easy baby as well, but I had all the anxieties of a first time mom with him. My second son was difficult until he learned to crawl, and mothering him bewildered me until he got older. Something about my daughter, however....she was smaller than the boys at birth, but she didn't grow quite as fast as they did, which allowed me to enjoy having a little newborn for longer. She put herself on a schedule from the moment she was born, and continued it to this day. She slept in her crib from the first night on, wanted to go to bed for the night between 8 and 8:30 every night, and still does, something the boys never, never did(it took me a couple of months to get them to sleep in their cribs instead of the swing or bouncer). And my daughter looks at me with the "look"....of complete unconditional love, the "that's my mommy" look. My mom said this summer that she could tell I was enjoying Talia more than I had ever enjoyed any of my babies before....and she's right. This was the first time, as going back to work approached, that I thought...I could really not go back, and be ok with it. Of course, I like to spend money too much not to work, so that idea really isn't feasible until I get my budgeting under control. It's a work in progress.

I set my alarm clock a few minutes early today, so that I could see and play with Talia before her nap, before I was supposed to go back to work. It's such an ego boost to see her eyes light up when she sees me and to see her hands raise up to say "pick me up and love me!" Alec, also is always thrilled to see me awake...he's always telling me how pretty I am, and how much he loves me....I love being the most beautiful, wonderful woman in my boy's lives....and I dread the day that I'm not #1 in their lives anymore. I can already see the signs in Kyle....he's at that age where the influences of the outside world start to take their toll. I just hope he stays true to the sweet, caring young man that he is.