Happiness is a Journey, not a destination.


Monday, December 27, 2010

Contemplating my Blogiversary...

I've been thinking a lot about this milestone in my blogging.  This post has been brewing in my brain for a few weeks, but I needed to get caught up before I could start to get it down "on paper", so to speak. 

I've been blogging for 3 years now.  I started this blog at the subtle urgings of friends with blogs.  I saw how cool their blogs were, how much fun it was to record an online journal, how much fun it can be to share my insights about my family.  How fun it can be to share the triumphs, how the support during the low times would cheer me.  I tend to isolate myself in my house when I'm not working, making up the "mommy time" with my children, so I've had fun sharing their accomplishments, both small and large, with those who read.  I love to think that I love to journal...but the truth is, every time I tried to write in a journal in my early years,  I had no privacy in any journal or diary.  I developed a block about writing in a journal.  Sure, I buy blank books like crazy, but I never fill more than a small fraction of the pages before I just can't bring myself to write.  Writing a public record of our lives, in the form of a blog, has been both therapeutic and liberating.  Here, I don't feel blocked, because I never share anything that I wouldn't want everybody to know.   I feel the sense of community.  Through this blog, and other's blogs, I've met people I may not have otherwise known.  I've learned things from people I may never meet.  I've shared in moments of joy and laughter of my friends.  I've deepened friendships that I already had started, and even made some new ones. 

There is a dark side to blogging as well.  I know almost no one who blogs who hasn't received negative comments at one time or another.  People can be very judgemental about others' lives.  I've watched a few of the same friends who started me on this blogging path slowly give up on it...whether from diminishing time in their lives, diminishing joy from the process, or simple self preservation from the pain of being attacked. I've felt the pain myself, from "friends" I thought I could count on through thick and thin, people who I thought I could trust to the end of the world and back again.  I've had my heart broken through this blogging process.  I will never understand why we as women don't support each other instead of tearing each other down.  Why when we try to better ourselves, and share what we've learned with others, we get torn down by those who don't want us to succeed; those who fear our success.   I miss those bloggers who lost the joy because of other's, who were forced into hibernation in order to survive.  I don't understand why people fear others' successes. 

The fact of the matter is, the only person I want to be better than is myself, right now.  I will continue to work on myself.  I've started other blogs, to develop those other interests.  I will continue to read other blogs, to learn from other women, on this path of bettering myself.  I will mourn the loss of sources of knowledge and inspiration, and hope for new sources to present themselves.  I will document the life of my little family for posterity, here in my blog. 

I am happy.  Happy with who I am.  Happy with my progress in life.  Happy with my personal life, my friends, my experiences.  I wish this same happiness to everyone.  Blogging, on the whole, has enriched my life greatly.  I will continue on, and I welcome you to join me.  I'll be here, sharing the adventures of my family.  I'll be sharing my photography journey on Our Story in Pictures, and I'll be sharing a journey of spirit and serenity at my Serenity blog.  I hope to see you join me. 



Rachael said...

You go Girl! I couldn't have said it better myself!

I love feeling empowered and making others feel empowered to blog. :)

Mindy said...

I wish that everyone could understand it this way and we could all have and give unconditional love and support. Maybe some of us will feel comfortable enough to let our voice be heard again. xo