Happiness is a Journey, not a destination.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Surviving the Season

I have been really stressed out this holiday season. There have been many things that have caused me stress, anger, and irritation. I actually was fantasizing about cancelling all Christmas except that for my children. I've been really upset. However, I've finally come to the point of acceptance. I accept that I cannot change all the outside factors causing me stress, all I can do is have a different attitude and survive the season. I am, however, highly emotional thanks to my continued high stress level (when you find yourself crying while watching "Dora's Christmas Carol" with your toddler...because Swiper figured out the spirit of Christmas, you know that SOMETHING is going on...not to mention that I cried through the entire season finale of "The Biggest Loser"!). So...I'm surviving.

Typically I love this time of year, so it's been very hard for me to reconcile my love of this season with the unhappiness I've been feeling for the past month or so. When I'm at home, everything's right with the world, but when I'm not...let's just say I have issues. Acceptance, however, is my key.

We've had a pretty good week. Cole attempted to take the kids to "Journey to Bethlehem", a live nativity at a Baptist church (?) in Layton. I was working.
From December 2009

After waiting over an hour, and being told they still had at least another hour to go, they weren't able to was bedtime and the 2 younger kids were antsy. It was a nice try though...

My best girl....
From December 2009

From December 2009

I really do like being a mommy to my kids. Honestly, their hugs and love (along with the same from their daddy) are all that have gotten me through my "bah Humbug" attitude.

Me and my other "best girl"...Breanne, my wonderful babysitter/friend!
From December 2009

I dragged Cole to the ward Christmas party (the kids and I were excited to go)...I really enjoyed it! It went a long ways to getting me into the right spirit of the season...
From December 2009

Talia plays the bells with some help....
From December 2009

Kyle's turn...
(I swear, I try to take pics of Alec...he's just in his own world so often, that I can't catch up with him!)

Speaking of Alec...we've been having a rough month with him. He's always been my most difficult child. He processes information very differently than my other two. He's very literal, everything is very black and white, with no shades of gray. He also lives in his own little world much of the time. Sometimes this is to his advantage (like when he was in Kindergarten, with a teacher who did many things that upset me, but it rolled off his back because of his unique perspective), but sometimes it is not. He's made quite a few poor decisions this month, and both Cole and I are very frustrated. I'm praying for the ability to figure out how to handle it...

Another thing...sometimes the most simple toys are the best...
From December 2009

From December 2009

Talia has spent a lot of time on her new "horsie"....I wrapped a whole bunch of presents the other afternoon, and she was having so much fun riding on the cardboard rolls, that Cole made her her own horsie!

Now, if I can get all my Christmas shopping done this week, before things really start to devolve in my exterior life, I will truly survive!


John and Sherri said...

I'm sorry you are sad- I hope things get better!!! Cute family:)

TiGi said...

Jen, believe me I understand what you are feeling. You keep doing as you are. Accepting and loving your beautiful family and you'll find that's all that truly matters. Gratitude helps and there is a lot to be grateful for.

I think that the struggles and 'interruptions' from life and family and the outside world are what leads us to the true meaning of Christmas and all.

I love the horsie, by the way. That girl reminds me