Happiness is a Journey, not a destination.


Tuesday, August 24, 2010

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream....

From August 2010
Or in my case, not so much.

The worst part of it is...I used to be such a good sleeper....

When I started High School, I became aware that I needed my sleep. Between early morning classes, working, and dating, I had an "epiphany" moment...when I got good sleep, everything seemed to fall together much better. My parents never had to worry about giving me a bedtime, because most nights I went to bed by 9pm so that I would be rested the next day (the exceptions were Thursday night, when ER didn't come on TV until 9, and Saturday Nights, for Dates :)).

I married a wonderful man who did not require nearly as much sleep as I did. It never seemed to matter, though...he adjusted well to my habit of sleeping 9-10 hours at night, and I never had problems sleeping when he was already up, although his early rising habit still baffles me sometimes.

When I started working in Hospitals, my sleeping didn't change. I was easily able to adjust to sleeping days, and really never had any problems. I used to be able to sleep anywhere, anytime..(I remember one camping trip where I worked 7pm to 7 am the night before, and slept on the floor behind the seat of my Father-in-law's truck while we headed up to camp)...even when I was pregnant with the boys, I seemed to need AND get more sleep. I easily slept 12 hours a night while pregnant with the boys, and once they started sleeping through the night, I did too.

Until Talia.

When I got pregnant with Talia, I suddenly found myself inexplicably unable to sleep. Compared to my sleep history, I did not sleep well, I did not sleep long, but I was tired all the time (hinting that I did need the sleep, even if my body was incapable of providing it). I figured it was just hormones, and once I had her and she started sleeping through the night, I would too.

Not so much.

I miss sleep. I never fall asleep before Cole anymore. Last night I lay awake, tossing and turning, for at least an hour after he drifted off. I rarely sleep through an entire night without waking and tossing for a period of time (ranging from just long enough to remember I was awake, to an hour or longer). My crazy week made my sleep worse, and I couldn't get back into a normal(for me) pattern yesterday. I used to nap well before work, now I lay there awake, but figure the rest and quiet is ALMOST as good as actually getting a nap. I wouldn't call my issues insomnia...after all, I do get sleep, just not as much as I used to. Today I'm tired, grumpy, and unmotivated...but I have a lot I have to accomplish today to be ready for school in the morning.

She is my sunshine, though...
From August 2010

She was worth sacrificing my sleep.
(and now that I've vented and reminded myself of the positive, I feel a little less grumpy :). Although still tired and unmotivated ;))


Rachael said...

I go through stages like that too. Ever since Kimmy came home. I don't sleep as deep or as restful any more. I think for me at least it's me constantly worrying about the preemie I had. I also have a hard time turning my brain off. That's why yoga is so great for me in the evenings.

Sorry, you're right though. It's worth it.

"You can sleep when you're dead." LOL

Judith said...

They are all worth every sleepless night.

I however suffer from insomnia, just like all the women in my family.

Rest well.

Mindy said...

I have had sleep issues that coincide with my cycle and the only time they weren't very apparent was when I was pregnant, but then, with the big uncomfortable body, or the feeling sick part, I still didn't sleep very well. I do get a lot of reading and crocheting in though! :)