Happiness is a Journey, not a destination.


Tuesday, January 20, 2009

A year of Personal Growth.

If you read this blog regularly, you know that I bought myself a guided journal this year. It's titled "The Sacred Journey", and I'm finding it to be just that. Now, to give you some background...I love to buy journals. I love blank books, love the idea of writing daily, of using it to help me achieve whatever goals I have. For the past 9 years (since Kyle was 1) I have sat down on January 1st (or pretty close) and written my goals and aspirations in my journal. Sometimes a new book, sometimes in the one that I never finished last year. Because, despite my best efforts...I have a block when it comes to keeping a personal journal. I had an incident as a child/young woman, when the privacy of my journal was invaded by members of my family. Ever since, I have had a very, very hard time keeping a personal journal, and being honest with myself in it. I love to write, I always have. However, my personal, private thoughts are for me, not anyone else. Even my husband. Cole was innocently teasing me, early in our marriage, about reading my journal...and I have never kept one regularly. The mere thought of the invasion of privacy is too painful. Even though I KNOW he would never do such a thing, and he knows better than to tease me now...the block exists.

This year, however, I decided I wanted to live my life a certain way. I wanted a spiritual quest. I say "spiritual", and not "religious", because I believe spirituality is more than just religion...although my belief system plays a major role. In comes my own, personal "Sacred Journey". It's a daily planner, with guides for goals, and other things necessary to creating the "spiritual" me that I want. I am sooooooo NOT perfect....and I have a long way to go to reach my goals. Thus "Karma"... it has become my focus for the year. My own, personal Karma....I am in charge of my destiny, and I know that I have much growth to achieve.
So, I'm pleased to report that I'm journaling daily. Even just a few words about my day, what the kids have done, who's sick (which has seemed to be never ending this year...) what I did that day, what I didn't do. It's working well for me, and hopefully breaking down those mental blocks I have against keeping a personal journal. I'm using this blog as a "Personal Record" of such...more detailed info on our family, and for my family to keep up on everday events (I'm not much of a phone comes from years of doing collections over the phone). Splitting my "personal record" from my "private journal" seems to be working well for me. I am in charge over both...they are my own personal universe, for me to manage at my own will.

As for illness, I'm about ready for it to be OVER. It started the first week of the month...Kyle was sick with a cold and a fever. The next week, it was Alec. The 3rd week, it was Cole...and now, going into the 4th week of the month, Talia has it...croupy cough, and fever all day yesterday and last night. This morning, she seems to be better, so I'm hopeful it will be passing. I'm praying that I don't get it next.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Im the same way with my journaling. I think I have 3 unfinished journals. ;)
Good luck with yours!