I have come to accept in my life that Alec was sent to me to be the child that tries me to my ultimate limits. He has an ability to push my buttons like neither of my other kids do. Alec has been a challenge from the time I was 25 weeks pregnant with him...It was the night before Cole was due to leave for Seattle, on his very first business trip for his new job. I had been sick all day, and preterm labor started. We spent 6 hours in the hospital getting labor stopped. The remainder of my pregnancy was characterized by contractions whenever I worked, and having preterm labor stopped 2 more times before he came early at 36 5/7 weeks. My labor with him was twice as long as with Kyle, and he didn't tolerate any of it. They were getting me ready for an emergency c-section when he decided to turn his head straight so he could be born. His cord was wrapped twice tightly around his neck. I feel very lucky that he didn't die either during the process, or because we waited too long to deliver him.
He is a very literal child, everything is black and white, with no shades of gray. This is challenging. However, he is also a very sweet, loving child, highly intelligent, and I feel blessed to have him as my son.
However, this morning ended terrible for both of us.....
It started out ok. I worked last night, but both boys got up and ready with no problems. As we were headed out the door, the boys to school, me getting Talia in the car to take her to daycare, Kyle mentioned that Alec's pants smelled like urine. Sure enough, they were damp and smelled terrible. They were the ones he wore yesterday, so I asked him if he wet his pants yesterday(you have to remember, here, that Alec is afraid of all toilets that are not the ones in our house). He told me no. The lie set me off...we've been trying to get through to both boys that we're always more angry when you lie than when you tell the truth. I started yelling, and by the time he was leaving, he was crying, I was crying...I did hug him goodbye, and told him I was sorry to be so angry, but I feel like the worst mother in the world. He had a bad day at school, however, and it's probably all my fault. I am at my wits end with him right now. He has always responded well to concrete instructions, but he's not listening AT ALL right now. That pushes some pretty big buttons with me. I don't know what to do. I need to come up with some way of dealing with him right now, because I'm so very, very tired of yelling.
This is my dose of reality for the day. I just needed to get it out. Tomorrow will be better.